London (front lines), 2008 / Suburbs, 2008

Ole Johnny Boy was fighting the war, getting his Ph.D. (that is an abbreviation for Phucking-awesome Degree) in 2008.  It was truly grueling.  He went out there every day knowing that at any moment he could be in a Pakistani restaurant (in London) and the next moment he could be at the scene of the next great terrorist attack (the daycare next door).  The psychological effect of this was indeed great.  Still, as a veteran of 37 different wars on terrorism, John soldiered on (like good soldiers do).

Meanwhile there were a bunch of uneducated loosers [sic] posting on SOC-nyet [not sic] from really safe yuppie-filled places like “Kabul” and “Helmand” and “Herat.”  I’m not going to “google-fu” those places because they’re probably all gentrified neighborhoods in suburban Massachusetts.  (BTW, turns out their training is only 18 months long, which is nothing compared to 100,000 words.)  Anyway, these non-Ph.D. people (that is an abbreviation for areyouPhuckingjealous?Degree), were slanderlibelsmearing the real warriors.  Take a look for yourself:

“As a result, and due to my personal respect for [him], who is a genuine BTDT (similar to Ph.D.), and an authority on many historical aspects of [terrorology], I will personally cease fire on THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, Ph.D. and any weenies who come on this site and defend THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, Ph.D’s honor. “

I know, right?  What bullshit.  Reading that gets me so pissed off I could eat an entire pound of bacon.  Or I could say something really fucking awesome on an awesome website and show them who is awesome:

AWESOME BRO! HIGH FIVE! WE SHOWED THEM!

Anyway, we know what those loosers [sic] were thinking while they were drinking their lattes while backpacking on suburban nature trails. Loosers.  They’re just jealous because Johnny can do many more things than they can (Scuba dive, shoot guns, Man vs. Food), and he can work with three letter agencies (EPA, HUD, FSB, KGB, HHS).

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5 thoughts on “London (front lines), 2008 / Suburbs, 2008

  1. Kings College in London? How elegant! I am certain that Mr. Giduck obtained the finest education from this esteemed establishment, basic spelling including, as evidenced by his latest blog entry…

    “Editor’s Note: We continue to recieve (sic) many messages…”

    Meanwhile, according to Mr. Giduck’s (imaginary) supporter, military folks on SOCNET are just too smart to be real:

    “I seriously wonder what is behind that site sometimes. They do not sound like the majority of grunts and grunt upgraded units I was with… Those guys do not write like 20 year line unit guys with education center degrees earned over 20 years through distance learning programs.”

    Go figure…

  2. Ahh but he did get a couple weeks of training with the SAS. Given SOCnets connections, that should be easy enough to confirm. Of course, if given the choice of posting goofy Soviet certificates all over a website, or posting a cert / graduation from a unit such as the SAS… what would you do?

    “Years ago while undergoing a training program from veterans of the vaunted British
    SAS, the father of all Western counter-terror teams, I came to understand the mentality of
    those elite commandos. It was screamed at you a thousand times a day, week after week:
    Your Worst Has Got To Be Better Than Their Best!.”

    http://www.projectwhitehorse.com/pdfs/2.%20Our%20Worst.pdf

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