Ole Johnny Boy was fighting the war, getting his Ph.D. (that is an abbreviation for Phucking-awesome Degree) in 2008. It was truly grueling. He went out there every day knowing that at any moment he could be in a Pakistani restaurant (in London) and the next moment he could be at the scene of the next great terrorist attack (the daycare next door). The psychological effect of this was indeed great. Still, as a veteran of 37 different wars on terrorism, John soldiered on (like good soldiers do).
Meanwhile there were a bunch of uneducated loosers [sic] posting on SOC-nyet [not sic] from really safe yuppie-filled places like “Kabul” and “Helmand” and “Herat.” I’m not going to “google-fu” those places because they’re probably all gentrified neighborhoods in suburban Massachusetts. (BTW, turns out their training is only 18 months long, which is nothing compared to 100,000 words.) Anyway, these non-Ph.D. people (that is an abbreviation for areyouPhuckingjealous?Degree), were slanderlibelsmearing the real warriors. Take a look for yourself:
“As a result, and due to my personal respect for [him], who is a genuine BTDT (similar to Ph.D.), and an authority on many historical aspects of [terrorology], I will personally cease fire on THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, Ph.D. and any weenies who come on this site and defend THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, Ph.D’s honor. “
I know, right? What bullshit. Reading that gets me so pissed off I could eat an entire pound of bacon. Or I could say something really fucking
awesome on an awesome website and show them who is awesome:
Anyway, we know what those loosers [sic] were thinking while they were drinking their lattes while backpacking on suburban nature trails. Loosers. They’re just jealous because Johnny can do many more things than they can (Scuba dive, shoot guns, Man vs. Food), and he can work with three letter agencies (EPA, HUD, FSB, KGB, HHS).